Two years is too much to let go of without a fight.

I can't figure out why my one real, true, love won't even talk to me anymore without acting like it is some huge impostition.  He won't text me anymore. And as hard as I try when I go out to his house and knock on his door he won't answer, none of his family will.  I'm sorry Justin Lyle Smith.  The reason I felt obligated to leave you so abruptly is because you stopped living for yourself. You no longer took the time to do the things you wanted to do and you did it "so all of your time could be for me" that is not and never will be a suitable excuse for me and it pains me because I honestly do feel as if you meant well in those few months that we struggled through the end of our relationship.  With that being said, none of it is gone, the feelings, the memories, everyone tried to convince me that with time it would all go away.  But so far, no dice, I still have everything left over from our relationship too.  Your shirt, shorts, hoodie, blanket, coats, gifts, and pictures.  I never could convince myself that I was really ready to move forward and leave that part of my life behind me.  I still wear your shirt and shorts to bed sometimes and it reminds me of the times that I would put on your clothes after we were done cuddling after sex.  It wasn't easy for me to accept the end of your friendship with the end of our relationship and it certainly hasn't gotten any better.  That is why I started blogging forreal in the first place, I started dreaming again.  About you and your comforting smile and ways that you had and I couldn't make the awful dreams stop no matter how I tried and the worst part? I felt like they almost made me feel better in a sick sort of way.  Like even though you aren't with me or near me anymore you are when I shut my eyes.  I just long day in and day out to find out how you are doing and talk to you and know what all is going right for you as you are now.  Or God forbid what bad things have happened with you and your family.  I probably will always love you.  It seems silly I know it two years in my Freshman and Sophomore years of Highschool.  But two years is a long time to let go with little notice.  Two years is too much to let go of without a fight.