Drama

I don't understand High School girls.  I realize that I am still a high school girl however I do like to believe I try to stay away from the petty silly stuff.  Last night I got on facebook for the first time in weeks just to see what was going on and I was greeted with a comment that I was deeply offended by.  I was just going to let it go but I decided to text the girl and find out what she was talking about.  She outwardly accused me of passing advances at her boyfriend.  I have a boyfriend of my own who is in my class when I have the only interaction that I ever do with her boyfriend.  I was offended and I'm not completely sure why.  When a girl calls me a slut, a bitch, or spreads other nasty rumors about me I don't mind nearly as much as when a girl tells me that I am unhappy in my relationship so much that I would go after hers. I guess I just needed to vent about it.

The end of life as we know it

My boyfriend and I are expecting as you already know.  I can't help but wonder...is this the end of life as we know it? College? that'll be a no go.  Crazy 21st Birthday Party? I don't think so. Most any of the fun stuff that my friends will be experiencing I won't be there for and I can't help but wonder...am I even making the right choice? I mean of course abortion is never an option but maybe adoption is...and then I got on Twitter.  Wouldn't you know it the trending topic among my friends was #tomyunbornchild and then it hit me.  This child didn't ask to be born it didn't get to choose the life it was given, none of us do, and for me to take the easy way out...that's selfish.  I realized that not only was I going to be a mother but I was going to love that child and I was going to give that child the best life that I possibly could because even so that little baby growing inside me didn't request a teenage mother just shy of college that's what the baby was dealt and so I was going to try and make up for it the best I can.  My friends have told me before that they think I will be a good mother, honestly, I'm not so sure but I'm sure as hell going to try.

Mental Events vs. External Actions

"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying." Ralph Waldo Emerson
I took a test today in AP Literature and it made me realize that not only does the dynamic relationship between Mental Events and External Actions exsist in works by Shakespeare but the relationship also exsists in everyday life.  In Hamlet we are able to see the character of Hamlet grow and mature through the things that he thinks and the events that he plays out in his mind, we also see those results in the way he interacts with people and the decisions that he makes.  I know that people are always growing, learning and maturing but I've noticed today that there is a distinct relationship between what goes on inside someone's head and what they do in everyday life.  Someone can talk with the utmost confidence and maturity and lead an entire nation through a depression and build up their army, however, it is when they use their power to attempt to wipe out an entire population that you see who they truely are and what they are truely made of.  I can tell you all I want that I am mature for my age, I can talk to you about medicine and politics and I can talk about my experiences and who they have made me, but don't take my word on it let me show you who I really am. Don't judge people by what they say, whether it is a good or bad judgement, let them show you how mature, how kind, and how smart they really are.  All to often we let people tell us what they want to about themselves and I am realizing that maybe it is time that instead we let people show us, because that is when you see what they are really made of.  What people do in their everyday lives is who they really are.  So be yourself and be the best self that you can possibly be.

1 Month Down Approximately 8 More to go

I've been very scared lately... I haven't gotten a period and pregnancy tests have that evil little + where the - should be... how am I supposed to be allowed to go to Marshall University in West Virginia 8 hours away if there is a baby joining us in September or October... Aaron knows and he claims he is ecstatic... I don't know if I can handle all of this excitement right now and quite frankly I'm not sure if I want to... I  am going to have to jeopardize my future to get where I need to be with this baby I guess... I hope Aaron knows that I love him and I need him more than ever right now and that we will get through it together... Thanks for listening anyway guys....